2013 Fantasy Football: The Perfect Draft, In Retrospect

The Perfect 2013 Fantasy Football Draft

Jordan Cameron, Round 11. Just one pick in the ultimate 2013 fantasy draft... in hindsight.

Jordan Cameron, Round 11. Just one pick in the ultimate 2013 fantasy draft… in hindsight. (Credit Batard0)

There are two steps to winning every fantasy football draft you entered in 2013.

Step 1: Read this article.

Step 2: Build a time machine.

Granted, the amount of money and effort required to construct a vehicle that traverses the time-space continuum may outweigh the cash you’d win for first place in your fantasy league – but we’re talking in hypotheticals here, people.

The great thing about working at major sports media outlets is that you can pretty much say whatever you want on a day-to-day basis and, since you control the media, you aren’t generally held accountable for much of what you say. This holds especially true for preseason fantasy player rankings, which always seem brilliant when first observed but utterly useless halfway through the regular season.

We at SidelineMOB wanted to have a little fun. Let’s say we could go back in time and, using the generally agreed-upon preseason rankings from the major fantasy football prognosticators, construct the perfect 2013 fantasy football draft.

To keep things fair, we gave ourselves the #6 pick in a standard 12-team draft, and we’re taking players based on where they generally went in most fantasy leagues. If someone does invent a time machine, and gets really bored with it after awhile, feel free to reference this article, go back to late August 2013, and crush the fantasy competition. (We’ll take 20% of your winnings as a thank you.)

The perfect 2013 fantasy football draft… in retrospect

Round 1, Pick 6: Jamaal Charles, RBESPN preseason rank: 6

Jamaal Charles was ranked #6 in ESPN’s Top 300 before the season. He currently leads all RBs in fantasy points (147), good enough for 8th-best among all fantasy NFL players.

Round 2, Pick 19: Peyton Manning, QB. ESPN preseason rank: 19

Manning was the 3rd QB off most boards in 2013 – mistake much? Manning was ranked 19th – again, a perfect fit – and leads all fantasy FB athletes with 215 points.

Round 3, Pick 30: Jimmy Graham, TEESPN preseason rank: 30

By now, your past-tense draft room is laughing at you for going RB/QB/TE. Don’t listen. Graham has 131 fantasy points – 39 more than any TE, and 13 more than any WR.

Round 4, Pick 43: Reggie Bush, RB. ESPN preseason rank: 50

As of Week 9, only 9 fantasy RBs had cracked 100 points, and Bush is one of them (doing so in 8 games). By the way, if this were a PPR league, your top 2 backs would have a total of 78 catches through 9 weeks of the NFL season.

Round 5, Pick 54: Jordy Nelson, WR. ESPN preseason rank: 62

You finally get around to your wide receivers in Rounds 5 and 6, and end up with 2 of the top 5 fantasy point scorers through Week 9. Nelson has been the only consistently healthy option for Aaron Rodgers thus far, and is a steal as the 24th-ranked WR in the draft.

Round 6, Pick 67: DeSean Jackson, WR. ESPN preseason rank: 68

Speaking of WR steals, DeSean Jackson was ranked 27th among preseason fantasy WRs, and is 2nd in fantasy WR points so far (116). Try not to laugh when you draft him behind Cecil Shorts (and potentially Tavon Austin. Ugh.).

Round 7, Pick 78: Tony Romo, QB. ESPN preseason rank: 82

Now, your fantasy league is howling with laughter – two QBs in the first 7 rounds? What they don’t know is that your team is already stacked, and you’re sniping 2013′s #3 fantasy QB away from everyone else. Let him ride the pine while other GMs beg for a trade.

Round 8, Pick 91: Fred Jackson, RB. ESPN preseason rank: 112

While the rest of your league trips over itself to get C.J. Spiller at the back end of Round 1, wait until Round 8 for Fred Jackson, who is the 8th most productive fantasy RB so far this season (103 points). You now have three of the top 9 RBs in fantasy – use one as your Flex. Grab him 20 spots early, as RBs flew off the board as desperation picks in this portion of fantasy FB drafts.

Round 9, Pick 102: Josh Gordon, WR. ESPN preseason rank: 107

Let the league tell you how dumb you are for taking a guy who’s suspended the first 2 weeks of the year. In just 7 games, Josh Gordon is tied for 15th in fantasy WR points with T.Y. Hilton, averaging 11.6 points per contest.

Round 10, Pick 115: Knowshon Moreno, RB. ESPN preseason rank: 116

Knowshon Moreno was ranked 116th among all fantasy players headed into 2013 – or as we like to put it, 61 spots after Montee Ball. He’s become the 6th most productive fantasy running back thus far in 2013 – giving you four of the top 9 RBs in fantasy while only spending 2 of your first 7 picks on running backs.

Round 11, Pick 126: Jordan Cameron, TE. ESPN preseason rank: 173

Round 11 is when a lot of guys start taking their yearly “sleepers” to impress everyone, so over-rate Jordan Cameron (173rd in ESPN’s preseason top 300) and grab him here. Ta-da! You now have the top 2 fantasy tight ends through the first half of 2013, and you won’t even have to play Cameron until Week 6 and 7 (when Graham is out vs. NE and the Saints’ bye).

Round 12, Pick 139: Zac Stacy, RB. ESPN preseason rank: 248

With Cameron, you nab two dynasty picks in back-to-back rounds. Stacy was considered by many to be the “third-wheel” in the Rams backfield during the preseason. Once again, let your draft compatriots mock you – you know Stacy’s due to explode starting Week 5.

Round 13, Pick 150: Stephen Gostkowski, K. ESPN preseason rank: 150

A kicker before the last round? Boo! Hiss! But your team is already loaded, and Gostkowski’s the only kicker to score 100 points by Week 9. Might as well.

Round 14, Pick 163: Nate Washington, WR. ESPN preseason rank: 168

Washington was ranked 168th in ESPN’s preseason top 300 – and you may be asking, “Why am I drafting him at all?” Well, in Week 4, Jordy Nelson has a bye and DeSean Jackson only put up 3 points (hooray, future knowledge). Washington, meanwhile, had a monster 105-yard, 2 TD performance against the Jets in Week 4. He’s a one-week super sub.

Round 15, Pick 174: Kansas City Chiefs, D/ST. ESPN preseason rank: NR (#25 D/ST)

After “all the good D/STs are gone”, feel free to round out your fantasy draft by taking the Chiefs D/ST and their 143 points through Week 9 – 43 points better than any other unit.

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